“Why Are We Talking About This Instead Of Sex?”

Sex therapy is mostly about therapy, not sex
Over half of the people who come to see me for an initial session are interested in changing their sex life. They’ve made the difficult leap of talking to a stranger about it.
I always start with straightforward questions (about age, kids, hobbies, and so on). Then I ask what they’d like from therapy, and they tell me their sexual situation. I ask a few questions about it (“How long have you been distressed?” “Is it like this when you masturbate?” “Have you spoken to your doc about this?” etc.).
And then, I want to talk about other things, depending on the patient: guilt, shame, and anger; body image; the nature of their current (or previous) relationship; and depression or anxiety, to name a few.
“Why Are We Talking About This Instead Of Sex?”

It's Official – Here's How Many Of Us Actually Want An Open Relationship

With the winter months over, it turns out that ‘uncuffing’ season is well and truly upon us.
More and more of us are approaching relationships differently, with alternative relationship dynamics such as polyamory and throuples growing in popularity.
No seriously, according to research carried out by sexual wellness brand Lovehoney, almost 2 in 5 of us would experiment with an open relationship.
It's Official – Here's How Many Of Us Actually Want An Open Relationship

The Unattractive Qualities in Women

You could be the most gorgeous gal in the world, but guys are instantly put off if you do these things.

The Unattractive Qualities in Women: 15 Traits That Repel Even the Most Committed Men

The DONG Of Humanity

The DONG Of Humanity, Phallic Symbolism In History

Eding up the day outside ...

Really opening up today ...

Parrots Enjoy Making Video Calls to Each Other

Video calls helped friends and families fight loneliness during the pandemic. Parrots normally live in flocks, so would video calls help them feel less lonely? That was the subject of an experiment by Dr. Ilyena Hirskyj-Douglas of the University of Glasgow and her team. The researchers studied 18 pet parrots who were taught to use a tablet. They learned really quickly. The parrots would ring a bell when they wanted to make a call, and then select a bird to call from a menu of images. The birds made 147 calls during the study and engaged in social behaviors while on calls. The researchers studied more than 1,000 hours of video of the interactions, and the bird's owners filled out forms on each call. It turns out that the birds that made the most calls ended up being the most popular and were chosen by other birds more often! Read about the study at The Guardian. You can also watch a video presentation of the research at YouTube (skip to 3:20 to watch the birds do it).  

Whipped Cream & Other Delights: The Story Behind the Album Cover

Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass noticed they had a lot of food-themed song titles, and decided to put them together for their sixth album, Whipped Cream & Other Delights. Photographer Peter Whorf had a vision for the album cover, and hired Dolores Erickson for a photoshoot in which she appeared to be covered with whipped cream (actually shaving cream, except for the fluff on her head). When Whorf presented the images to the band, Alpert thought they were too racy and would never go over. When Erickson saw them months later, she was appalled, and hid them from her husband.
But the band decided to use one of the pictures, and the album Whipped Cream & Other Delights sold six million copies. The only hit single from the album was "A Taste of Honey," which peaked at #7 in the US, but everyone wanted the full album when they saw the cover. Read the story of the picture that sold the album and became a classic at Vintage Everyday.

Yes

Does materialism really lead to lower life satisfaction?

Surprising new study suggests otherwise
New research casts doubt on the belief that heightened materialism leads to reduced life satisfaction. The results of the study suggest that the negative association between materialism and life satisfaction observed in past research might not be due to materialism itself causing lower life satisfaction, but rather because people who tend to be more materialistic also tend to have certain stable characteristics that are linked to lower life satisfaction. The findings have been published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology. 
Read More

Inaccurate Myths About America That Foreigners Think Are True

Stereotypes exist for all nationalities, but it is still frustrating when other people make assumptions about you because of the country you come from. An internet user recently asked, “Are there any myths about America that you’d like to debunk?”  ..

21 Inaccurate Myths About America That Foreigners Think Are True

Five Historical Rulers Assassinated on the Toilet

If you come at the king, you should do it while he's on the toilet. It happened in Game of Thrones, and there are historical precedents. It makes sense, since one is most vulnerable when relieving oneself, and that's the time a powerful man is most likely to be completely alone.
Take the story of poor Jaromír, who was briefly the duke of Bohemia twice in the 11th century. Jaromír's older brother Boleslaus III was duke before him, and was quite paranoid about his younger brothers' ambitions. He had Jaromír castrated and exiled. That really set off the family squabbles, and Jaromír and his younger brother Oldřich spent the rest of their lives trying to take the dukedom from Boleslaus, each other, and the forces of the king of Poland. Jaromír was ultimately blinded on orders from Oldřich and imprisoned, where he was speared through one night while on the toilet.
Read that story and those of four other rulers who were offed while doing their business at Amusing Planet. It's not always good to be the king.

Five Deadly Incidents Involving Mathematicians

The title of the list is "5 Math Battles That Ended in Death," but that is a little misleading. Yes, there were math battles during the 16th century, but the consequences of those were more on the level of betting, they weren't deadly. The accounts of the five deadly incidents include one duel that may or may not have anything to do with math (but left a talented young mathematician dead), one possibly natural death, and three tragic cases of gifted mathematicians who suffered from obvious mental illness. One killed his family because it was the mathematically logical thing to do. One was so paranoid that he wouldn't eat anything unless his wife prepared it, and when she was hospitalized, he starved to death. Another committed suicide because he was afraid he would lose his math abilities due to cancer. Read all these mathematically sad tales from history at Cracked.  

Should the rape of children be punished by death?

The Florida Senate on Tuesday passed a bill that would allow the death penalty for people who commit sexual batteries on children under age 12, sending the issue to Gov. Ron DeSantis.
Lawmakers hope the bill (HB 1297) will ultimately lead to the U.S. Supreme Court reversing a 2008 decision that barred the death penalty for people who rape children. The state House passed the bill last week.
Under the bill, defendants could receive death sentences based on the recommendations of at least eight of 12 jurors. Judges would have discretion to impose the death penalty or sentence defendants to life in prison. If fewer than eight jurors recommend death, defendants would receive life sentences.
The arguments for a death penalty carried the day in Florida, including one Senator who argued that "people who sexually abuse children can't be rehabilitated." One argument against the death penalty is religious...

"I love kids, and I'll do anything to protect them," Osgood said. "But I struggle from a faith perspective. If I believe in my faith that dog can redeem and save anybody, then how do I support someone getting the death penalty?

The other argument against death was articulated by Thomas More 500 years ago:

"I think putting thieves to death is not lawful; and it is plain and obvious that it is absurd and of ill consequence to the commonwealth that a thief and a murderer should be equally punished; for if a robber sees that his danger is the same if he is convicted of theft as if he were guilty of murder, this will naturally incite him to kill the person whom otherwise he would only have robbed; since, if the punishment is the same, there is more security, and less danger of discovery, when he that can best make it is put out of the way; so that terrifying thieves too much provokes them to cruelty."

Note: This post contains a story that is 2 weeks old but very relevant.

Laser

“Did You Know” Facts That Are Almost Hard to Believe

We bet you didn't know these
"Did you know" facts are everywhere, and you might start to hear some over and over again, on the back of a Snapple cap or something. Yes, you know that Napoleon wasn't really that short and that frogs don't drink. But, for your brain-food pleasure, here's a plethora of "did you know" facts that you probably haven't heard before. And for more cool trivia, here are 100 interesting facts about basically everything. Plus, Netflix has you covered on double the trivia fun with their interactive trivia game ...
59 “Did You Know” Facts That Are Almost Hard to Believe.

Live Life to the Fullest

What items are on your wish list? Do you keep a list of all the places you want to see before you pass away? Or perhaps it's a list of the places you want to go in the upcoming years.
You go to a lot of places that alter your life. Some are mystical, some are historical, and some are simply stunning. To pique your curiosity, we have created the ultimate trip wish list that can be helpful a lot.
Live Life to the Fullest: 15 Must-See Bucket List Places to See Before You Die

Exciting Hobbies That Will Change Your Life Forever

Whether it's learning a new language, taking up painting, or writing stories, there are plenty of fun activities to explore. Here is a list of productive hobbies that will help keep your brain sharp and allow you to express yourself creatively.

20 Exciting Hobbies That Will Change Your Life Forever

Kitten

 

Physicists Determine the Ultimate Strategy for the Playground Swing

How can you get the highest possible range of movement on a playground swing? Kids have been experimenting with different options for generations. Now we have a carefully examined and mathematically quantifiable study on how to get the best swing on a swing.

Science Alert tells us about a recent paper published by physicists in Australia and Japan. In addition to creating theoretical models of swinging, they conducted experimental research by recruiting 10 college students to swing with different methods. The scientists concluded that the best strategy is to lean all the way forward as soon as you pass the midpoint of the forward motion and lean back on the backstroke. Get as supine as possible at the highest part of the backward motion.

A Good Sports Bra Can Improve Women's Athletic Performance

The study of human breast movement is a topic of great interest to many people. Careful, repeated, and sustained observation of this phenomenon is an essential field in physics as a pure science. As an applied science, the knowledge gained from the exhaustive study of this movement can be used for the development of sports bras.
Douglas Powell is an expert on breast movement. He's a doctoral student in biomechanics and the director of the Breast Biomechanics Research Center at the University of Memphis. UPI reports on a recent study that Powell and his colleagues have published about sports bras.
The study had 12 women with bra cup sizes ranging from B to D run on a treadmill with sports bras rated with low and high support, as well as bare-chested.
The study concluded that uncontrolled breast movement during running impaired the knee joints, causing pain as well as reducing performance. The women wearing high support sports bras exhibited a 7% improved running performance. 

Cosplay

Researchers discover two psychological traits that connect narcissism to sadism

Researchers In Italy were curious if sadism and grandiose narcissism may be related and what traits may facilitate this relationship. Their findings indicate that malicious envy and narcissistic rivalry are the characteristics that connect sadism to grandiose narcissism. The research has been published in Personality and Individual Differences. Sadism refers to the tendency to derive pleasure from the suffering of others. It has been identified as a component of the “dark tetrad” along with Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and narcissism. The tendency to take control of others is a key characteristic...
Read More

The 4 Most Common Lies People Tell Before Sex

Everyone lies, some more severely than others, but there are a variety of reasons why someone would be dishonest.
Some people hide deep, dark secrets; others don't want to hurt feelings, and some just get a thrill out of it. Some might not know how to open up to people, as it's proved to hurt them in the past.
Whatever the reason, people lie, and the reasons can vary, and it's up to the person being lied to whether it's a forgivable offense or not.
DirecTV asked 2,000 participants to "fess up" about the white lies they've told in their lives and to rank the severity of the lie on a scale of one to five. Interestingly, the top four lies are all related to sex.
The 4 Most Common Lies People Tell Before Sex, Says Scary Study

Best Sexting Apps For Sending Naughty Texts And Nudes

If you own a smartphone and are online dating, you've probably sent at least one message or voice memo showing off your sexting skills. Maybe it wasn't a photo of your body, but perhaps a suggestive message in a private chat.
We may all be friends on messaging apps, but we've got to take our privacy seriously. Keeping your personal information private, as well as staying safe, is essential when using dating apps.
That's why so many people rely on sexting apps to help them send naughty messages (and nude pics) without worrying about screenshot proof remaining!
There is a myriad of sexting apps available with the mere tap of a screen, but how do you know which one is best for you? 
12 Best Sexting Apps For Sending Naughty Texts And Nudes

Ouch

Good Vibrations

A conservative Thai political party is seeking to woo voters ahead of this month's general election with a pledge to legalize sex toys, pointing to the fiscal -- and frisky -- benefits.
Despite its reputation for being one of Southeast Asia's most sexually liberated countries, Buddhist-majority Thailand remains conservative and vibrators, dildos and other intimate devices are illegal.
The royalist Democrat Party has been a major player in Thai politics since the 1940s but it flopped in the 2019 election and is sagging in the polls for the May 14 vote.
"Sex toys are useful because they could lead to a decrease in prostitution as well as divorce due to a mismatch of sexual libido, and sex-related crimes," party representative Ratchada Thanadirek said in a statement.
Good vibrations: Thai party makes sex toy election pledge

This Is What Cannabis Can Do For Your Vagina At Any Age

As more and more states make various cannabis products that were previously off-limits readily available to consumers, we’re only beginning to unlock the full potential ways the plant can be used to benefit our health and wellness. Despite countless brands having a CBD-this or a THC-infused that and more high-profile folks loudly and proudly embracing the cannabis market (hello, Martha Stewart!) , it can be hard to decide what to buy when you don’t fully know what you’re paying for — as mainstream research still needs to catch up with the products on the market.
From the reproductive and vulva-owning person’s health perspective, one area that’s super interesting to cannabis connoisseurs and healthcare experts is the potential cannabis has for the vagina — particularly in how it can benefit people going through menopause and perimenopause or experiencing chronic reproductive health conditions. After all, our vaginas, like the rest of our bodies, change as we age and grow and finding ways to balance out and feel comfortable as we go through those changes has a lot of appeal.
This Is What Cannabis Can Do For Your Vagina At Any Age

Dildo Regrets

She’s Had Them
Since, for our son, puberty and the AIDS epidemic were more or less simultaneous events, he's spent his entire sexual life being bombarded with efforts to make condoms sexy. Not just condoms in particular, but also “safe sex” (later rebranded “safer sex”) in general.
It never really worked. Condoms are necessary, in many contexts; and there’s a public health argument to be made for positive depictions of condoms in porn and erotica, too. Especially when the absence of a condom in an erotic display will be jarring and unpleasant for some. It’s a no-win situation for adult creators, and most of them just deal with it as smoothly as possible, the way we’ve all been doing all our lives.
What about actually sexy depictions of condom use? He hasn’t seen very many (Neither has anyone else for that matter). In twenty years of sex blogging, we've only seen two that are the only memorable ones.
And then, today, we encountered a genuine first: a condom reference in erotic fiction that was at least a little bit sexy, and actually made me laugh out loud when I got to the concluding simile:

“Now there was a condom, and he was tearing the wrapper. Rolling it down the blush of his length, and it was one of those fetish black ones. When he got it to the base, slacks only unzipped but belt intact, he looked glossy and threatening, like some intimidating new dildo she’d buy and then have second thoughts about.”

That’s from the BDSM novella Breathless by Eris Adderly, as seen in the anthology volume Black Light: Roulette War.

Ending up a doubly stressed day ...