Legal Loopholes You’ll Probably Never Need, But Are Nice to Know

There’s a very low chance this will ever be relevant to your life, but it’s worth mentioning just for the masterful way in which a Canadian judge beat a highly unusual plaintiff at their own game. In 1999, Rene Joly sued a whole lot of people and companies for persecution, including the CIA. This all revolved around his central claim, that being that he was a Martian cloned from organic space waste owned by the CIA.
Unfortunately, in addition to tossing out the case as frivolous, Judge Gloria Epstein also threw it out because, in her words: “Rule 1.03 defines plaintiff as ‘a person who commences an action.’ The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines person as ‘an individual human being.’ Section 29 of the Interpretation Act provides that a person includes a corporation. It follows that if the plaintiff is not a person in that he is neither a human being nor a corporation, he cannot be a plaintiff as contemplated by the Rules of Civil Procedure. The entire basis of Mr. Joly’s actions is that he is a martian, not a human being. There is certainly no suggestion that he is a corporation. I conclude therefore, that Mr. Joly, on his pleading as drafted, has no status before the Court.”
Basically, she hit him with “I’m sorry, I don’t practice Mars Law.”