The Basics of BDSM Negotiation

Negotiation is the backbone of consensual BDSM practices. In fact, negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse. They are essential elements of kink play. BDSM without explicit understanding from both parties isn't consensual. Both parties need to be crystal clear on all terms to avoid the risk of coercive behaviors. Gaslighting, lies of omission and peer pressure are some common signs to watch out for when engaging in BDSM. Neither party should ever be forced, pressured or persuaded into doing something they aren't 100% okay with.
Even so, negotiation is often glossed over or sped through, even by experienced players, which is a shame -- and sometimes downright dangerous. Not only is negotiation one of the most valuable ways to keep yourself and your partner safe, but -- when done correctly -- it’s also part of the fun.
Whether you start the conversation in person, by email or by text, negotiation can be akin to flirting and dirty talk. You’re sorting through a whole world of possibilities and deciding what you’d like to do together; that’s exciting stuff!
Here are some of the key points to cover during your BDSM negotiation:
The Basics of BDSM Negotiation