Starting the day with notice ...

The Most Affordable American Cities to Buy a Home in Right Now

Over the past few years, rising housing costs have kept homeownership out of reach for so many. As a result, a lot of people have been forced to rethink their plans and reassess their priorities in terms of both how and where they want to live.
And while the cost of housing is a crucial part of what makes a particular place affordable, it’s only one piece of the puzzle. That’s why Homebuyer analysts considered multiple puzzle pieces when ranking the most affordable American cities to buy a house in right now for a new report. Here’s what made the cut.
The Most Affordable American Cities to Buy a Home in Right Now

All the Things You Should Hide Before Guests Come Over

A.A. Newton puts is this way:
A nosy houseguest can put you off hosting for good. Everyone was having a nice time until someone comes back from the bathroom and asks what you’re taking that lithium for. Nobody should make you feel judged in your own house, but some people leave you no choice but to head potential conflicts off before they can start.
Hiding certain things before guests come over can preserve your sanity and keep the party running smoothly. A good rule of thumb: If a guest seeing something will start a conversation you’d really rather not have, it’s much easier to hide it. Your mileage may vary, but these five categories are a good place to start.

Bathroom clutter
Not all guests care about clutter, but if yours do—or claim they don’t, but you know better—it’s a good idea to get rid of the most obvious offenders, starting with the bathroom. Clutter can read as dirty even when it’s not, and besides, it’s much nicer to use a sink that isn’t crowded with bottles. Dump it all in the bathtub and draw the shower curtain if you have to.
This also applies to personal hygiene tools. Most people who have facial and/or body hair groom it in some way, but nobody wants to see your electric razor. Pop that thing in the medicine cabinet or a drawer while people are over. Or, if there’s absolutely no storage left in your bathroom, at least make sure it’s clean.
Drugs (legal or otherwise)
Whether or not you live in a state with legal weed, it’s probably a good idea to gather your paraphernalia and hide it somewhere secure during dinner parties. Bongs and pipes are kinda smelly, anyways; it’s just polite to confine that smell to an area where guests won’t be hanging out. (And if some of your guests are kids, their parents will especially appreciate you stashing the edibles somewhere out of reach.) The same thing goes for any other drugs, legal or otherwise, that you’d rather not answer questions about—or worse, have stolen.

Certain books and movies
A familiar book or movie can spark a fun, engaging discussion among party guests, but it can also do the exact opposite. If you own media that could cause a stir (in a bad way), it’s best to stow it during parties. For some scenarios, this could be porn; for others, it could be any so-called “controversial” titles. Depending on the giver’s level of tenacity, you may even be able to avoid an uncomfortable “So, what did you think of that book I gave you?” conversation by hiding the book in question before they come over.
Sex toys
Even the most open-minded house guests probably don’t want to come face-to-face with a dildo stuck to the wall while using the bathroom. (Although if they do, more power to you all!) Before having people over, make sure to collect your sex toys from wherever they ended up and put them in a secure hiding spot.
Decorative weapons
Nosiness isn’t the only sin a houseguest can commit. Recklessness can also be a problem—and in some cases, it can be downright dangerous. It’s unlikely that your guests will take an antique revolver or your 1:1 reproduction Andúril off the wall and do something deeply stupid, but if it’s a drinking kind of party, it could happen. As always, better safe than sorry: Put your decorative weapons in a closet or the basement until your guests are long gone.

Go for it ...

Purple Vegetables And Tubers Have Anti-Diabetes Properties

The red, purple and blue pigments in fruits, vegetables, and tubers called anthocyanins can reduce the risk of diabetes by affecting energy metabolism, gut microbiota, and inflammation. A new review article comparing the research results in the topic shows that the beneficial effect of anthocyanins on type 2 diabetes is increased if the anthocyanin is acylated, meaning that an acyl group is added to the sugar moieties of anthocyanin.
A great amount of acylated anthocyanins can be found in purple potatoes, purple sweet potatoes, radishes, purple carrots and red cabbages, whereas bilberries and mulberries contain mostly nonacylated anthocyanins. Acylated anthocyanins are poorly absorbed in digestion, but they have probiotic properties and reduce the risk of diabetes more efficiently than nonacylated anthocyanins.
“The studies have shown that, in addition to changing physical and chemical properties, the acylation affects how the anthocyanins are absorbed and metabolized,” says Postdoctoral Researcher Kang Chen at Food Sciences Unit, University of Turku, Finland.
The acylated anthocyanins are more effective antioxidants than the nonacylated anthocyanins, and they can also improve the intestinal barrier that enables the absorption of necessary nutrients. Furthermore, the acylated anthocyanins maintain gut microbiota homeostasis, suppress pro-inflammatory pathways, and modulate glucose and lipid metabolisms.
“The plant’s genotype defines what kind of anthocyanins they produce. In general, purple vegetables contain many acylated anthocyanins. Also, purple potatoes, especially the Finnish variety called ‘Synkeä Sakari’, is abundant in acylated anthocyanins,” says Chen.
Acylated anthocyanins travel through our bodies from the upper gastrointestinal tract to the colon where they are metabolised by the gut microbiota. Glucose transporters are involved in anthocyanin absorption, but different glucose transporters are responsible for the absorption of acylated and nonacylated anthocyanins. The acylated and nonacylated anthocyanins also have different impacts on the enzymes involved in metabolism.
“The latest research has shown that the acylated and nonacylated anthocyanins can impact type 2 diabetes in different ways,” Chen summarizes.

Seven Times New Technology Was Created to Make a Film

It's easy to watch a blockbuster film like "Spider-Man: No Way Home" or "Avatar: Way of Water" and lose sight of how much brand-new technology was required to bring those pictures to the big screen. From computer generated imagery (CGI) to underwater performance capture cameras, innovation is the driving force behind these cinema hits.
Seven Films Made Possible by Newly Created Technology
But cinematic innovation didn't begin with the advent of the microchip. Long before computers — and at all stages of film history — directors and their crews used cutting-edge technologies to bring their visions to life. And when the right technology didn't yet exist, these filmmakers created the tools they needed. Here are seven films in which filmmakers broke the mold and invented the technology they needed to create cinema magic:

1. "The Gulf Between" (1917)
2. "The Jazz Singer" (1927)
3. "Metropolis" (1927)
4. "King Kong" (1933)
5. "Citizen Kane" (1941)
6. "Rainbow" (1996)
7. "Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace" (1999)
8. How Technology Impacts the Modern Filmmaking Process

Many films now use 3D printing technology to create interesting props, designs and sets. The emerging 3D technologies often make it cheaper to print a prop than to acquire the real thing.

Age has privileges ...

Supreme Court grapples with what constitutes a 'true threat' on social media

In April, the U.S. Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in the case Billy Raymond Counterman v. The People of the State of Colorado. At issue is what constitutes a legitimate criminal threat on social media — and therefore, is not protected by the U.S. Constitution’s 1st Amendment.
In 2016, Counterman was sentenced to four and one-half years in prison after being convicted of stalking Coles Whalen, a singer/songwriter, and making threats against him over a six-year period. The prosecution and conviction has been upheld as constitutional by the Colorado Court of Appeals but has made its way to the U.S. Supreme Court, and it remains be seen whether or not the High Court will agree or disagree with earlier rulings.
Supreme Court grapples with what constitutes a 'true threat' on social media.

Editor's Note: anything a wingnut does or says on social media is a true threat, but that is beside the point of this case.

Machine learning is helping police work out what people on the run now look like

Artists have traditionally made these images by altering old photos of the suspect – adding wrinkles, hair loss and other common aspects of aging. But in recent years there has been a move towards using computer systems that employ machine learning, a much more sophisticated and formalized way of changing people’s faces.
We can’t predict with certainty how a person will look years after their last available photo, but these images can still help police. Here’s how the technology has developed.
Machine learning is helping police work out what people on the run now look like

Oddball

Rebel Wilson launching Fluid dating app that lets users ‘explore a wider dating pool’ regardless of orientation

Rebel Wilson wants to help you widen your dating pool. The Australian-born actor is launching a new dating app designed to help curious singles of any sexual orientation to match and meet new people. Fluid, which is expected to be available in the App Store in the coming weeks, will use the “latest matchmaking technology and an advanced filtering algorithm” to help users connect with prospective friends, hookups, dates, and significant others without the restraints of a person’s immutable sexuality. “Whether you’re straight, queer, questioning, heteroflexible, bisexual, pansexual, gay, lesbian ...
Read More

Archaeologists discover 2,000-year-old party hall in Italy

The discovery was made as researchers stumbled upon it while investigating Roman baths that were used to store weapons in World War II.
The hall, which would have been used around 2000 years ago, was the summer home of Vedus Pollio who was a friend of Emperor Augustus. 
While stratigraphic data is missing, excavation leader Marco Giglio said that “based on the style, the hall could date back to the late Republican age or Augustan at the latest.”
The hall was once decorated with a black and white mosaic carpet and overlooked a 2,000-seat Greek-style theatre. The theatre was once used for musical performances and was known as an ‘Odeon.’
Archaeologists discover 2,000-year-old party hall in Italy

Flautist

I Had Sex While Camping Outdoors And You Seriously Need To Try It

We all have that one story of having sex somewhere different. Maybe it was for the thrill or out of necessity; maybe it was in a storage closet or the back of a Mustang (which I don’t particularly recommend).
Regardless of the where or the why, sometimes, we need to indulge our desires, satisfy our hunger for the struggle snuggle.
Me? I had sex in a tent.
I Had Sex While Camping Outdoors And You Seriously Need To Try It

You’re Using Lube Wrong

We bust five myths about lube so you can have the better sex life you deserve.
Lube is one of those amazing sex hacks you’re probably not using enough. Want better orgasms? Use lube. Want less pain and friction? Use lube. Want better sex all around? Use lube.
“Lube should be an essential component of your sex life,” says Gigi Engle, a certified sex educator and the resident intimacy expert at 3Fun. “It provides a barrier against friction from a penis, hand, or sex toy. It helps you experience less pain during penetration and increased sensitivity. Lube makes everything better. It can even make your orgasms better and stronger. It enhances everything.”
But for something so right, there’s also an awful lot we get wrong about lube. Here, Engle tackles some of the most common misunderstandings and myths about lube.
You’re Using Lube Wrong

Masturbation techniques specifically for people with penises

Wanna bust [a nut] out of your wanking rut? Go beyond what you've always done and start exploring some new masturbation techniques.

Any kind of relationship can have ups and downs—including the one you have with masturbation! If your self-love relationship with your penis doesn’t have enough ups and downs, then it might be time to shake things differently. Masturbation is a wonderful way to feel good, de-stress and experience fantastic pleasure. But if you find yourself in a wanking rut, try these eight exciting escapes from typical techniques.
8 masturbation techniques specifically for people with penises.

Mister Fixit

The Unsexiest Secret To Mind-Blowing Intimacy

Sex is an important part of our lives, and great sex brings a couple closer together throughout their relationship.
Couples and individuals may experience various sexual problems throughout their life, such as the lack of sexual desire, inability to orgasm, premature ejaculation, and more. Some of these problems are physical, and some are psychological.
The Unsexiest Secret To Mind-Blowing Intimacy

What Men Like More Than Sex — But Won't Tell You

Women’s jaws would drop if they could listen in on my conversations with married men. 
Our discussions contradict just about every misconception wives utter about their husbands.
Husbands don’t want to hurt. They don’t want to argue. They don’t want to control. And they definitely don’t “just want sex."  
These guys are desperate for her to know the truth. And they shed tears at the thought that their wife may never WANT to know the truth.
What Men Like More Than Sex — But Won't Tell You

The end of the day, ladies ...

Opening up close and personal ...

Farum Brigantium

The Romans have been remembered through the ages as excellent engineers, and some of their constructions still stand (and are even in use) today. Examples include theaters and amphitheaters (like the one in Carthage that is still used for traditional performances), Roman bridges (like the longest-standing Roman bridge in Merida, Spain), and the lighthouse - the ancient Tower of Hercules in Spain.
The Tower of Hercules is one of only a very few Roman lighthouses still standing. Another Roman lighthouse can be seen at Dover Castle in England, where the old lighthouse was transformed into a church bell tower. The Lighthouse of Alexandria was an ancient Greek (or Ptolemy Egyptian) lighthouse and, like most lighthouses of ancient times, it has long since crumped (although people can see some ruins today).
The Tower of Hercules is the best-preserved Roman lighthouse by far. Not only that, it remains the only Roman lighthouse still in use, and it is thought to be the oldest extant lighthouse in the world.
Tower of Hercules: See The Oldest Standing Lighthouse In The World Built By The Romans

Ladies' Perspective

How to grow lavender

Growing lavender is extremely rewarding - not only does it have an intoxicating scent, but the delicate flowers look simply divine and are perfect for attracting bees to your garden. Full sunlight and well-draining soil are two of the most crucial things you’ll need to achieve in order to grow lavender successfully, whether you’re planting it in the garden, in a pot or even indoors. 
Although pruning lavender at least twice a year is a must, once established lavender becomes drought-hardy and requires very little maintenance.
How to grow lavender 

Make Better a Stir Fry by Velveting Your Meat

Chicken can dry out in a snap. A few methods, like brining, marinating, and cooking over low heat can help, but there’s another technique that you should take advantage of. For a juicy, tender slice of chicken, bring on the velvet.
Velveting is a Chinese technique that helps smaller cuts of meat retain moisture during high-heat cooking. Even though you may not have prepared chicken this way at home, you’ve probably eaten velveted chicken at your favorite Chinese restaurant. Velveting is a straightforward technique that involves coating the meat pieces with a cornstarch marinade, typically a slurry of cornstarch and a flavorful liquid like soy sauce, oyster sauce, or a combination of sauces. The meat is then pre-cooked, quickly and gently. This moment of par-cooking allows the coating of starch to absorb moisture from the poaching liquid and the meat’s juices, forming a soft—some might say “velvety”—layer. The starches gelatinize and encase the meat, effectively protecting it from the next cooking, which is probably over the scorching high heat of a wok. The chicken stays tender and moist despite the smoky singe of wok hei.
Make Better a Stir Fry by Velveting Your Meat

Double Exposure

Headlight flashing: What it really means and is it illegal?

Flashing headlights can actually mean a few different things, depending on the context.
Fortunately, it only takes a second to check the two most common things the other driver is trying to communicate: Your own headlights, and the potential dangers ahead of you on the road (and despite what you may have heard, it's not a gang initiation ritual.)
But a quick flash of the headlights typically means the presence of law enforcement ahead, with radar, trying to catch speeders.
So, the question becomes, is it legal to flash your headlights for this reason?
In some states it used to be illegal to flash your headlights to warn other drivers about a speed trap, but for drivers in Missouri that changed back in 2014. A federal court in St. Louis ruled that drivers are allowed to flash their lights to warn other motorists of nearby police and speed traps. The court ruled that it’s a first amendment right.
The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), has stepped in numerous times across the country representing individuals concerning this subject. The particular ruling for Missouri stemmed from a 2013 case in Ellisville when a driver received a citation for flashing his headlights “to notify motorists of a radar set up ahead.”
"The police cannot retaliate against drivers who have done nothing wrong and are simply exercising their right to communicate with other drivers," says Jeffrey A. Mittman, executive director of the ACLU of Missouri.
Each state has different rules regarding flashing lights as a warning. However, with the Supreme Court ruling in Spence v. Washington, it’s safe to say outdated municipal ordinances about this issue don’t hold water.

Mismatched carpet and drapes

How Jimmy Carter was actually one of the most consequential presidents in modern history

Editor's note: This story originally ran on September 3, 2019. Dates and events noted below reflect that.
There are at least two compelling reasons why this is a good time to reassess the presidency of Jimmy Carter. First, he is rapidly approaching his 95th birthday. On October 1, one month from today, he will solidify his record as America’s longest living former president. Second, during a brief but revealing dust-up between Donald Trump and Jimmy Carter recently, the President of the United States told us he thought his predecessor was a “terrible” and “forgotten” president. Having served four years in the Carter-Mondale White House, I believe strongly both assertions are dead wrong, and will argue here that Carter’s was one of the most consequential presidencies in recent history, particularly in his commitment to human rights.
When Americans think of Jimmy Carter today, they often hasten to commend his work after he left the White House. He and his wife Rosalynn founded the Carter Center in Atlanta dedicated to promoting democracy in emerging countries, to resolving international disputes peacefully, and to eradicating, especially in Africa, chronic and deadly diseases such as guinea worm. He has set a new standard for former presidents by selflessly dedicating himself to help people around the world improve their lives.
As worthy as Jimmy Carter’s post-presidency has been, it shouldn’t overshadow his time in office, which has been too often overlooked, and which stands in sharp contrast to what we see in the White House today. President Carter was well known for tackling almost every tough issue that came his way, usually regardless of the political cost ...
How Jimmy Carter was actually one of the most consequential presidents in modern history

Common features of fascism

Excerpted from an article at Open Culture:
Can we use words like “fascism,” for example, with fidelity to the meaning of that word in world history? The term, after all, devolved decades after World War II into the trite expression fascist pig, writes Umberto Eco in his 1995 essay “Ur-Fascism,” “used by American radicals thirty years later to refer to a cop who did not approve of their smoking habits.” ...
"Contrary to common opinion, fascism in Italy had no special philosophy.” It did, however, have style, “a way of dressing—far more influential, with its black shirts, than Armani, Benetton, or Versace would ever be.” The dark humor of the comment indicates a critical consensus about fascism. As a form of extreme nationalism, it ultimately takes on the contours of whatever national culture produces it...
While Eco is firm in claiming “There was only one Nazism,” he says, “the fascist game can be played in many forms, and the name of the game does not change.” Eco reduces the qualities of what he calls “Ur-Fascism, or Eternal Fascism” down to 14 “typical” features. “These features,” writes the novelist and semiotician, “cannot be organized into a system; many of them contradict each other, and are also typical of other kinds of despotism or fanaticism. But it is enough that one of them be present to allow fascism to coagulate around it.”
1. The cult of tradition. “One has only to look at the syllabus of every fascist movement to find the major traditionalist thinkers. The Nazi gnosis was nourished by traditionalist, syncretistic, occult elements.” 

2. The rejection of modernism. “The Enlightenment, the Age of Reason, is seen as the beginning of modern depravity. In this sense Ur-Fascism can be defined as irrationalism.” 

3. The cult of action for action’s sake. “Action being beautiful in itself, it must be taken before, or without, any previous reflection. Thinking is a form of emasculation.” 

4. Disagreement is treason. “The critical spirit makes distinctions, and to distinguish is a sign of modernism. In modern culture the scientific community praises disagreement as a way to improve knowledge.” 

5. Fear of difference. “The first appeal of a fascist or prematurely fascist movement is an appeal against the intruders. Thus Ur-Fascism is racist by definition.” 

6. Appeal to social frustration. “One of the most typical features of the historical fascism was the appeal to a frustrated middle class, a class suffering from an economic crisis or feelings of political humiliation and frightened by the pressure of lower social groups.” 

7. The obsession with a plot. “The followers must feel besieged. The easiest way to solve the plot is the appeal to xenophobia.” 

8. The humiliation by the wealth and force of their enemies. “By a continuous shifting of rhetorical focus, the enemies are at the same time too strong and too weak.” 

9. Pacifism is trafficking with the enemy. “For Ur-Fascism there is no struggle for life but, rather, life is lived for struggle.” 

10. Contempt for the weak. “Elitism is a typical aspect of any reactionary ideology.” 

11. Everybody is educated to become a hero. “In Ur-Fascist ideology, heroism is the norm. This cult of heroism is strictly linked with the cult of death.” 

12. Machismo and weaponry. “Machismo implies both disdain for women and intolerance and condemnation of nonstandard sexual habits, from chastity to homosexuality.” 

13. Selective populism. “There is in our future a TV or Internet populism, in which the emotional response of a selected group of citizens can be presented and accepted as the Voice of the People.” 

14. Ur-Fascism speaks Newspeak. “All the Nazi or Fascist schoolbooks made use of an impoverished vocabulary, and an elementary syntax, in order to limit the instruments for complex and critical reasoning.”

Fox 'News' hacks shocked that sex education exists

Sex education has existed in American schools for over a century and since its inception has been a thorn in the sides of cultural wingnuts, who in the ensuing decades have complained that students should not be exposed to such content and that reproductive education is best conducted at home.
On Thursday, two Fox 'News' blowhards fell into a pearl-clutching diatribe against teaching kids about sexual health, arguing that it detracts from other more important subjects and sidelines parents.
'The gods forbid that ever come up': Fox 'News' hacks shocked that sex education exists

Just hanging around ...

"Cheese and rice" is a "minced oath"

Watching "The Lost City," a movie in which Sandra Bullock is a sapiosexual author of bodice-rippers who has been kidnapped by a monomaniacal billionaire. In the scene where she is crawling through a cave of stalagmites under an erupting volcano (!) wearing a sequined bodysuit, she falls and exclaims "Cheese and rice."
That was her second use of the phrase in the movie, and the subtitles are always on, so there was no mistaking the wording. We had to look it up. It is a euphemism or a "minced oath" for "jesus christ."

***

Euphemism [Greek "eu" = good + "pheme" = voice] we understood, but then we had to figure out why it would be a "minced" oath. Minced [Middle English from Proto-Germanic minniz = "less"] means "finely chopped," with a corollary meaning of "weakened or extenuated."

Pre-Code Movies That Prove Hollywood Was Always Obsessed With Crime, Violence, and Sex

Your great grandma watched dirty movies and was better for it.
This week in puzzling online discourse, a subset of Gen Z is looking wistfully back on the era of the Motion Picture Production Code, also known as the Hays Code, a voluntary (well, technically) set of censorship standards Hollywood rigorously adhered to from 1934 through the late 1960s.
It all began with a plea for a return to the halcyon days of yore, when nice people made nice movies without a single exposed ass.
But smutty movies aren’t a modern invention. From its earliest days, the movies have been sex obsessed (obviously). The production code just required Hollywood to be more subtle about it—but before the Hays Code was in place, the movies were plenty dirty. When people talk about the “pre-Code” era, they’re generally referring to the “talkie” years, before the Code was formalized and enforced by studios...so roughly 1929 to 1934, with 1933 being a peak year. It’s not that these movies contained a lot of nudity or graphic sex—society in generally still shedding the prudishness of the Victorians—but there was a definitely greater freedom for films to explore adult sexuality. Even nearly 100 years ago, these movies acknowledged, for instance, that women might have and even enjoy sex, and grappled with sexual power dynamics between straight men and women.
Insisted upon by vocal 'christian' organizations, the Code didn’t enforce an existing status quo, but a new one based on a particularly narrow view of acceptable behavior. And it wasn’t just sex: The movies couldn’t show authority figures in general, and religious leaders in particular, as flawed unless the filmmakers were extremely careful to make clear that such individuals were outliers. Among other authoritarian impulses, that lead to decades of popular mass entertainment that told Americans that the police were never wrong and that the clergy would never harm you. Crime couldn’t ever be seen to pay, so even the most unjust laws were to be venerated. Homosexuality was strictly out, as was any romantic or sexual race-mixing. The “virtue” that fans of the Code profess to miss also entirely erased female sexual power, queerness, or the idea that a relationship could be made up of anything other than exactly two straight people of the same race.
Films of the Code era eventually found subtle ways to defy the strictures of the Hays office—directors like Hitchcock knew how to amp up sexual tension (and innuendo) to craft scenes that feel at least as sexy as actual sex scenes while also misdirecting the censors—and some of the greatest movies ever made were indeed made by either scrupulously following the rules of the Code, or by bending them in just the right ways. But romanticizing censorship that was mostly designed to keep women in their places and to value authority over the problems of the less privileged is pretty misguided. Instead, let’s honor the freewheeling spirit of these pre-Code films, which prove the movies have always had vice on the brain.
Follow the link below to a slide show of the 12 movies:
12 Pre-Code Movies That Prove Hollywood Was Always Obsessed With Crime, Violence, and Sex

Kink

Queer & Kinky AF: Black Liberation at its Finest

“Life is very short. What we have to do must be done in the now.” - Audre Lorde
We all have been ingrained with the history of how, the one and only, Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., spearheaded the Civil Rights Movement. He was the headliner, making incredible speeches and being the representative of Love and Human Rights until he was assassinated.
If you aren’t queer, you probably don’t know that Bayard Rustin was King’s right-hand man. Every decision King made, Rustin was right there with him; they made decisions together and then brought those decisions to the forefront of the other players in the movement. Rustin was gay and, at the time, knew the world wasn’t ready for a Black gay man to be the face of the Civil Rights Movement. So, he kind of remained in the background -- advising cishet people in various human rights missions to ensure that people all over the world are treated with dignity and respect.
But Rustin wasn’t the only one. We had Marsha P. Johnson, who remained in the background for years with regard to the gay/queer liberation movement at Stonewall, until fairly recently. And how often did you hear about Audre Lorde in your history classes and the strides she made within the second wave feminist movements?
As you can see, Black queers have been here, influencing movements here in the United States (and beyond) and loving each other for centuries. These early influencers of Black Liberation in the 20th century set the tone for the Black kinksters that would soon come to flourish and make room for the future Black queer kinksters who continue to thrive.
In fact, when thinking about how our revolutionaries fought for our representation, access, equality, and equity, we can contextualize how we are now reaping the benefits and solidifying our places in the kink world, unapologetically.
Queer & Kinky AF: Black Liberation at its Finest

How to Up-Level Your Sext

Dr. Emily says:
While sexting is an ever-evolving art form (see taco emoji), there’s one thing we can say for sure. When done well, it’s one of the hottest forms of foreplay, period. 
But sexting can also be intimidating. There’s the opening salvo. There’s build-up. There’s sustained banter (that you hope won’t go off the rails), and there’s possibly nudes (that you hope will get them off, rails not withstanding). What’s a smartphone user with a crush to do? 
You read this article, that’s what. Even if you’re a seasoned sexter, I’m giving you ideas to make your next sesh even hotter. 
1. Keep the opener cute
Listen – I love sexts, but it can be nerve wracking to get things started. I recommend holding  off on sending anything too NSFW, too early. You want their consent, but you also want to gauge if now is a good time to get the sexting started. One option? The capsule collection I just dropped with HiNOTE, the visual texting app. It’s a full menu of stylish, personalized text templates you can use to send an “invite” if you will to the sexting party. They’re sexy, chic and even fun…which is perfect, because let’s not take ourselves too seriously here. We’re sexting! The person on the other end will either be delighted, smile, or both when they receive it, and that’s ideal for breaking the ice. 
2. Go slow
With sexts, as in sex itself, a general rule of thumb is: go five times slower than you probably want. 
You’re building sexual tension, which is a key component of the whole experience. The “point” of sexting isn’t to be efficient: it’s to imagine a world together, and create a collaborative vibe. So bring up a hot memory that you shared with them. “Remember when we…?” is always promising. Recount it together, unpacking your favorite details. 
3. Get a privacy screen 
If you’re sexting in public – say, at work – and worried about someone looking over your shoulder, it’s not a bad idea to get a privacy screen. Not only are they affordable (and will protect your phone from cracks), but you’ll feel that much more uninhibited when the pics do start flowing. Speaking of which…
4. Know your nudes
Many people think “nudes” are synonymous with “in the moment,” and I’m here to tell you that they’re absolutely not. Your perfect lighting, your rules, people. 
Take some selfies when you’re feeling sexy, and keep them in your phone’s Hidden / Private folders for the appropriate occasion. What to send? You’ve got options: 

• Teasers (lifting the shirt up to show torso, cleavage, hands in suggestive places, etc.)

• Spotlights (booty, breasts, ye olde dick pic, etc.) 

• Full-frontal (or, full back!)

…and about a hundred different combinations thereof. But just like the taking-it-slow advice, what I recommend is starting off “softer,” then gradually showing more skin as the conversation progresses. You can also gamify this exchange by making them “earn” more pics, by asking them to tell you what they’d do to you.
5. Remember that this is two-way pretend
As such, it’s your job to be curious and ask leading questions, to play a role, and to go with the flow. Nothing kills the sext vibe like: “but anyway to get back to what **I** was saying about YOUR PENIS…”
So think of a few hot, leading questions in advance, to slot inside the convo and get their juices flowing. Questions like, “where do you want to touch me right now?” You may even experiment with words you wouldn’t normally use IRL, because again – you’re playing pretend. A well-placed “cock” can heighten the moment precisely because it’s overtly sexual and a little crude, even if it’s the kind of word you’d never say out loud. That’s ok! You’re having fun, you’re giving each other a little thrill, and most importantly – you’re taking turns.

How to Have Great Sex During Perimenopause, Menopause and Beyond

Dr. Emily tells us:
Let’s face it. For decades, vulva owners have been in the dark about menopause and sex. And one of the main reasons is because we’ve all had a giant misunderstanding around hormone therapy. 
But the good news is, we’re in the middle of a menopause rebrand. Because now, we’ve got actual, helpful treatment options, from care providers who take pleasure seriously, understand what menopause is, and how to effectively treat it via hormones.   
WHAT IS MENOPAUSE?
In strictly medical terms, menopause officially occurs 12 months after your last menstruation. Your hormone levels no longer support fertilization. The onset of menopause is typically in your early 50s, and you might experience the following symptoms:

• hot flashes

• thinning of the vaginal walls

• vaginal dryness and pain during intercourse

• weight changes especially to your middle: your body is trying to hold onto the estrogen that abdominal fat produces

• bone loss

• brain fog and other mood changes

Leading up to menopause, your hormone levels are changing and your estrogen levels are dropping. This is called “perimenopause.” 
WHAT IS PERIMENOPAUSE?
During perimenopause, your body is releasing its final eggs. You can still get pregnant during this time though, which is a helpful thing to keep in mind. It usually starts in your 40s, and you might experience the following symptoms:

• irregular periods (sometimes you won’t get a period for months, sometimes you get a ton of bleeding)

• sleep disruption

• mood changes

• sex drive changes

I know what you’re thinking: fun! But not only are these symptoms manageable, there’s a fast-growing sex and pleasure market right now for vulva owners experiencing this. 
HOW MANY VULVA OWNERS EXPERIENCE MENOPAUSE SYMPTOMS?
Eighty-five percent. All vulva owners will experience menopause, but 85% will go through the symptoms listed above. 
WHAT CAN I DO TO MANAGE MY SYMPTOMS? 
A recent national poll found that 35 percent of menopausal women reported they had experienced four or more symptoms, but only 44 percent said they had discussed their symptoms with a doctor, writes Susan Dominus in a New York Times article. 
What does this tell me? There are so many vulva owners out there who are afraid to ask their OB-GYN: “look, can you help me with my vagina?” 
And it’s no wonder. Medical school offers precious little training in perimenopausal and menopausal care, which is why many OB-GYN’s minimize or dismiss the topic entirely. Also, earlier research studies linked hormone therapy to an increased risk of various cancers, a stigma that’s followed HRT for decades. But today, the treatments and the delivery methods have improved, showing that hormone therapy remains the most effective treatment for hot flashes, changes to your genitals, and has even been shown to prevent bone loss and fracture. Even the North American Menopause Society now states the benefits of hormone therapy, which significantly outweigh the risks for women under 60. 
WHERE CAN I GET HORMONE THERAPY?
Now that we’re on a course correction with hormone therapy, services like Odela Health are here.
After registering on Odela Health, you answer a few easy questions about your sexual health, receive a treatment plan, and get a prescription for vaginal estrogen cream or vaginal estrogen suppositories delivered to your door. Both treatments are 100% safe and effective in restoring healthy vaginal tissue, to have more enjoyable sex and less vaginal dryness. Also, their clinical care team is available any time you’ve got questions. 
WHY IS ESTROGEN SO IMPORTANT?
Estrogen is the hormone that declines most during perimenopause and menopause. And when it does, those pesky  symptoms start to arise: hot flashes, mental fog, thinning of the vaginal walls, even a harder time getting sexually aroused. Fortunately for most, hormone therapy is an effective and safe option to treat all that.
WHAT ARE OTHER TREATMENT OPTIONS FOR THESE SYMPTOMS?
Here are other methods you can try. 
Vaginal Dryness
Get thee a lube! Playground remains my far and away favorite, since their ingredients go so much further than in-the-moment sexual lubrication. Made with nourishing ingredients like Vitamin E and Ashwagandha, each application is like a facial for your vulva. 
Sex Drive
To keep your sex drive high, prioritize your solo sex. Doing so will keep blood circulating to your genitals, for healthy vaginal tissues. But it will also build your sexual intelligence, so you can continue learning what feels good in your body. Womaness makes an excellent, affordable bullet toy called Gold Vibes: get it, use it, thank me later. 
Mood Changes
Since the hormone changes that happen during perimenopause and menopause can bump up anxiety and depression, now is the time to adopt a deep breathing practice. It’s a free, everyday tool you can use to keep intrusive thoughts at bay, especially before and during sex itself.
When we breathe deeply, we stimulate the vagus nerve: a critical part of your nervous system that I talk more about in my forthcoming book, Smart Sex. It’s in charge of turning off your fight-or-flight system, and getting you into a state of “rest and digest.” That’s the state of mind we need to be in, for our best sex. 
You can also take a supplement designed to support your mental health, like Me.No.Pause from Womaness. I enjoy this one in particular, since it uses research-backed ingredients that support focus, sex drive, and healthy blood circulation.