My gateway into ethical non-monogamy (ENM) was through cuckqueaning.
When I initially broached the conversation, my husband, James, was taken aback. He’d been at the receiving end of my deep-seated jealousy many times and was hesitant to pursue such an engagement. Luckily, when this fetish came to call, I was ready to trade in my green monster for a more pleasurable future. Recognizing this, my husband decided to take the leap with me.
Having a successful ENM relationship requires a few things, the first being a strong sense of self: possessing healthy self-esteem, knowing what you like and accepting it. Additionally, ENM is dependent on open communication, negotiation and treating everyone involved with respect and dignity.
To safeguard the emotional well-being of all involved, transparency and vulnerability are also mandatory in ENM. Being clear on the configuration of one’s relationship(s) and setting clear parameters is paramount. When done right, ENM offers an opportunity for deeper conversations, and you will inevitably access parts of yourself that may have otherwise remained unreachable.
My hunger for new experiences revealed my preferred position as a passive participant. Being involved with someone other than my husband triggers unresolved threads of trauma, casting me into a sea of emotional overwhelm. What cuckqueaning offered was stimuli that both aroused me and confronted blocks that needed dismantling. The injection of a new person, even from a distance, felt refreshing. It played as a unique bonding tool for James and me, as well as a path to personal growth.
Despite these benefits, and my insatiable desire to share my husband, this dynamic harbored some unavoidable challenges. The greatest being insecurity over the other woman, aka my metamour.
3 Ways to Be a Better Metamour in Your Poly Relationship
When I initially broached the conversation, my husband, James, was taken aback. He’d been at the receiving end of my deep-seated jealousy many times and was hesitant to pursue such an engagement. Luckily, when this fetish came to call, I was ready to trade in my green monster for a more pleasurable future. Recognizing this, my husband decided to take the leap with me.
Having a successful ENM relationship requires a few things, the first being a strong sense of self: possessing healthy self-esteem, knowing what you like and accepting it. Additionally, ENM is dependent on open communication, negotiation and treating everyone involved with respect and dignity.
To safeguard the emotional well-being of all involved, transparency and vulnerability are also mandatory in ENM. Being clear on the configuration of one’s relationship(s) and setting clear parameters is paramount. When done right, ENM offers an opportunity for deeper conversations, and you will inevitably access parts of yourself that may have otherwise remained unreachable.
My hunger for new experiences revealed my preferred position as a passive participant. Being involved with someone other than my husband triggers unresolved threads of trauma, casting me into a sea of emotional overwhelm. What cuckqueaning offered was stimuli that both aroused me and confronted blocks that needed dismantling. The injection of a new person, even from a distance, felt refreshing. It played as a unique bonding tool for James and me, as well as a path to personal growth.
Despite these benefits, and my insatiable desire to share my husband, this dynamic harbored some unavoidable challenges. The greatest being insecurity over the other woman, aka my metamour.
3 Ways to Be a Better Metamour in Your Poly Relationship
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